In The Thick Of It (and how I learned to stop worrying about climbing)

Images from the plays I've been working on in this 18-month stretch.

There's a certain inherent dissatisfaction that can be part of having an artistic career, and playwriting is no different. There's never much money, there aren't many production slots, and there's always a hope for the next "bigger" thing. Maybe this reading will lead to a production, maybe this production will catch the attention of someone in New York, maybe an off off Broadway show will move to Off Broadway, maybe Broadway will come calling. Maybe the next reading will lead to a production at an NNPN theatre, or a LORT theatre. Maybe the show will get a positive review, in someplace important, maybe someone will notice my work, will notice me.

I confess to having these thoughts. They're not particularly productive. They haven't caused any of these things to happen. Thoughts like these are good at adding to a general sense of unease and anxiety. And though they generate pressure to perform, I'm not convinced they lead to the creation of better work. They do lead to a general far-sightedness, that lifts the eyes up to the horizon and removes focus from the people and work sitting right in front of me.

As much as I have ambitions of "bigger" things for me and my work, I haven't spent much time thinking about such things lately. My attention has been completely absorbed by the work at hand, and I feel like I'm the luckiest writer in the world. I'm in the midst of an 18-month stretch of working on seven different full-length plays and musicals, with more than a dozen readings, workshops, and productions of those seven plays. (A few of the scripts were written a while ago, but they're getting readings and productions now.)  Sometimes it feels like creative whiplash, trying to unlock the mental bin for Lost in Lexicon and then switch the next week/day to Lab Rats and then back to Distant Neighbors.

I don't know that any of these productions or readings are designed or likely to lead to something "bigger." They might not be impressive to people higher up the theatrical food chain. But I don't care. I love the sensation of being completely immersed in the warm (and sometimes turbulent) waters of theatre and creation. I love getting to work with collaborative artists from so many different companies. With the exception of Clockwise Theatre in Illinois and Liminal Space in London, all the companies I'm working with are here in Boston, so I'm getting to work with people who part of the community where I live. I'm engaging with an audience of theatre goers who surround me every day.

More and more, I'm realizing that the place where I want to be is exactly where I am, and the thing I want to do is what I'm doing right now. I'm working, I'm creating, I'm part of a creative community that gives me an electric jolt every day. I'm not spending so much time looking ahead for what's next, I'm just trying to make the most of where I am right now, and enjoy every minute of it.

I've found the whirlwind I've been looking for, and I wanted to say that I'm here and I'm grateful.


(Special thanks for that whirlwind need to go to: In Good Company, Clockwise Theatre, Tumblehome Learning, Argos Productions, Liminal Space, Fresh Ink, Theatre on Fire, and the Bostonian Society.)

Constant State of Panic reading tonight at Boston Playwrights Theatre

I know I've been plugging away at this via e-mail and Facebook, and all that.  But here's one more reminder, just in case:

Constant State of Panic will be read at Boston Playwrights Theatre, tonight, Thursday, May 6, at 7pm
BPT is at 949 Commonwealth Avenue.  Bevin O'Gara will direct.  Kris Sidberry, Maureen Keiller, Tom O'Keefe, and Ed Hoopman will make the up cast.   The play is both fun and intense, a dark and sometimes comic love story that blurs the lines between reality and fantasy, as we journey through a Bush-era Wonderland.    It's about paranoia, murder, conspiracies, loss, and a world where bad, lovely, and weird things happen.

Admission is free, but you can reserve a seaton their web site (I recommend this). 


So today will be a fun and very busy day for me (we rehearse all afternoon and then have the reading at 7.  I'm pretty psyched--this a play that's enormously fun to work on, and we've got a great cast and director.  With any luck, we'll have a mostly full house, too, which always makes a reading a lot more fun for everyone, and useful for me.

Another Photo from the Madcap CSP production

Here's another photo from the DC production.  For those of you who have read the play and wondered how they pulled off the television (I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't read it yet), this photo gives you a good look at what it looked like in this show.  (You can e-mail me and I'll tell you the tricks they used to get Jenny to where she needed to be.)  I was absolutely delighted with how the production team solved all the cool physical theatrical challenges of this play.

(That's Tori Miller in the TV--that's actually her through a scrim, not on video, btw.  And Paul McLane as Dave.  Photo by Isaac Liu.)

Photos from Constant State of Panic

I've gotten some of the production photos from the Madcap production of Constant State of Panic (taken by Isaac Liu), and wanted to share some of them here.

Since I'm on a roll for giving advice (see my previous post), here's another one for young playwrights--after you get one of your plays produced, make sure you get the theatre to send you production photos right away.  You're going to need them, especially if they're any good.   If you wait six months, it's easy to lose track of who has them or where to find them, or who took them.  And they come in real handy (especially if your play is ever published).

Here are a couple (more to come soon):

Paul McLane and Aidan Hughes

and here's one of Paul McLane and Tori Miller (which gets at the energy of the play quite well):

(I miss all the Madcap folks.)

the work goes on and a contest from kidlit.com

Constant State of Panic is continuing to run in DC, and I keep receiving good reports.  I already miss being able to see the show every night.  I'm still digesting my notes from the show, trying to figure what sorts of rewrites I want to do on the script as I look forward.

And Recognition is still running in Pick of the Vine in San Pedro, California.  I've had some nice feedback from them, too.  (We've made people cry, which is always a good sign.)

Lots and lots going on here this week.  On Monday, I'm leading another Playwriting in 3D workshop here in Boston, at the Charlestown Working Theatres, from 6-9pm.  If you're around, don't miss it.  We'll have a lively discussion with costume and set designers about new plays.


I'm still hard at work on my new novels (among other things).  Today, I'm sending off the start of my new middle grade novel to a fun contest at kidlit.com, where agent Mary Cole at the Andrea Brown Agency looks at the first 500 words of a whole bunch of manuscripts.  (I'll be she'll get hundreds and hundreds.)  Hers is a blog definitely worth reading if you're writing for kids.

Constant State of Panic now open (and very cool)

I've gotten to see three performances of Constant State of Panic, and will go see the 2pm Sunday matinee in a couple hours.  They've done a great job with the show.  We're getting very strong performances from all the actors, and the set is amazing.  This is a show with some tricky technical demands, and they've really wowed me and pulled off some very fun stage magic.  (I don't want to give away too much, because it's fun to be surprised.  Even when I got there Friday night, I said, don't show me all the mechanics of how this stuff works--I want to be surprised with the audience.)

We had two good panels yesterday.  After the 2pm show, we had a discussion on Methods and Models of New Play Development, with six artistic directors and directors from around the DC area.  They all had different experiences with new plays and we had some good spirited discussion about how much a writer should keep practicality in mind while writing a script.  There were about a dozen people who stayed for the talkback, which was fine.  It's tricky to get people out to a Saturday afternoon sometimes.

Last night, we had a very warm audience, including a group of 22 MIT alumni (my alma mater) who stayed afterwards for a talk with me and the director and the cast (who were very kind to stay, despite have a super long day).  We had a lovely talk, and it was nice to learn that some of the people there had never been to a small theatre like ours before, usually attending the Kennedy Center and the like, and they were very impressed with the quality and intimacy.  That was especially rewarding,

On opening night, I had a good chat with several young audience members about how the issue of race is handled in the show.  The audience members were a mixed-race group, and they really enjoyed seeing a mixed-race couple on stage, for whom race affected their lives, but the play didn't necessarily have to be "about" race.

It's these kinds of conversations that stick with me as a writer and help make all of this worthwhile (in addition to the free brownies and champagne on opening night).

Now when I'm watching the show, I'm sitting there with my notebook, trying to make sure I understand what I see as the strengths and weaknesses in the show.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to see four performances of the play, but that's all I get, and in a few weeks, it'll be closed, and it'll be up to me to figure out what changes to make that will help the play continue to move forward in its life.  So as much as I'd like to just sit back and watch, I need to be paying close attention and make sure I'm soaking it all in.

I'll very much miss the Madcap folks when I leave.  They've been tremendous to work with--extremely thoughtful and dedicated.

Off to DC for Constant State of Panic

Tomorrow I head off to Washington, DC, to see the opening of my newest full-length, Constant State of Panic, which is being staged by the Madcap Players at the H Street Playhouse.  I've been getting great feedback from my director and producer, and have been working hard to sell tickets as best I can from Boston.  But this weekend, I'll finally get to see the play under full sail and see how it works.  No matter how well things go in rehearsal, you never really know how a play is going to turn out until you bring up the lights and perform it in front of an actual audience.  That's both the really interesting part about theatre, as well as the really scary part.

I'm especially grateful that I'll get to see the show four times this weekend, which means in front of different audiences.  Each one is different, and for some plays (like Pieces of Whitey) their responses can vary drastically.  I'm guessing CSP won't be quite so volatile, but we'll see.

In addition to the show itself, I'm looking forward to seeing all the folks I had a chance to work with when we workshopped the show this fall, as well as some old friends who are coming to see the play.  We're also putting together a panel on new play development,  after the Saturday matinee with six artistic directors from around the area--I'm hoping to learn a lot from them and have a chance to meet a lot of DC-area playwrights.

Here I go.

be the first to get a ticket for Constant State of Panic

Okay, opening is more than two months away, but just in case you want to be the first one on your block to say you have your tickets for Constant State of Panic, they are now available on line.

The show, being produced by the Madcap Players, runs from January 14-31 at the H Street Playhouse in Washington, DC. Tickets are $20 (with discounts for groups, and there are preview and other discounts, too). It's gonna be a fun show.

Just for fun, let's say that the first person to buy a ticket online gets a free, signed copy of Tornado Siren (my novel). Just let me know that you've bought your ticket, and I'll check to see if you're the lucky winner.

Back from DC

I had a great time workshopping Constant State of Panic with Madcap Players this weekend. Between the friends who hosted me and the well-run weekend events, I felt very well cared for. We've got a terrific cast, who were game to try whatever Gary (the director) and I asked of them, and they asked very useful questions about the play and their characters. Now that I'm home, if I can escape from what seems to be a growing pile of work and papers and meetings, I have a bunch of revisions that need to be made. I'm hoping to be done in about two weeks (fingers crossed).

A few random bits from the weekend:

--I was thrilled to have a production design meeting on Sunday morning with the sound designer, costume designer, and fight choreographer/movement coach. After the Playwriting in 3D workshop this spring (and the next one we're organizing for January), our conversation had a special resonance for me.

--I was pleasantly surprised to learn that we'd even have a movement coach. It makes a ton of sense for this particular play, but just because something makes sense doesn't always mean it's put into action.

--I learned how very useful it is to have a stage manager on hand while you're workshopping a play. I've done these sorts of development intensive weekends before, but this one was even more organized that usual (which has great appeal for yours truly) on the logistics end. On Saturday, Tarythe, our rehearsal stage manager was on hand to take notes and keep us on schedule for the entire day. The notes were e-mailed to the necessary folks that evening. For me, I found that this was reassuring to know that if I missed something, I'd still have a way to remember what was said. And now that I've seen the notes, I can see that they'll be especially helpful as I enter the rewrite phase. I took my own notes, but these complement them well. It was also helpful to have someone keeping watch on the clock, because when the writer and director are having the actors try various incarnations of scenes, it's easy to lose track of time, and folks can get worn out. I liked knowing someone was keeping an eye on us and also making sure we stayed fed and hydrated.

--I brought a video camera to tape a bunch of the scene work we did, especially times when we had the actors improv, with the idea that I can have it with me at home next week, when my memory might have grown a little fuzzy about exactly how things went. I'm curious to see how much of it I actually end up watching (I have about 90 minutes on tape). This might end up being a useful revision tool for me.

I can't wait to see the show when it's fully mounted in January.

off to DC: workshop of Constant State of Panic

So I'm off to DC this weekend to work on Constant State of Panic with the Madcap Players, who will fully produce the script in January. We have two full days to play with the script (and get to know each other better). Sounds like auditions went well--casting is so much easier with a small cast (CSP only needs 4 actors) and we have a designer's meeting set up for Sunday (so I can think about all the things that I learned in the Playwriting in 3D workshop I led last spring). I'm especially excited that I have a chance to meet with the designers so early in the process (and I think there might be a marketing meeting, too. Very cool.)

Sometimes I go into these things with a number of scenes and sections that I know I want to rework, but this time, I'm approaching the visit with a very open mind. I really want to get a sense of who these actors are and hear how they fit in with the play. I'm sure that on the plane tomorrow, when I reread the script again, I'll come up with a few scenes and moments that I want to work out.

Mostly I'm excited to have a whole weekend just to explore and play with this piece that I've been writing for a while now. I hope to come away with a sense of how it will blossom into production and how I want to shape it as it does so.

contract is signed with Madcap Players

It's official--I signed the contract for Madcap Players to produce Constant State of Panic for a three-week run in Washington, DC, in January 2010. They're a fun company, and I've already worked with them on short plays a couple times, and they've done a lot of work by friends of mine. And I'll be going down to DC in early October to spend a weekend workshopping the play, which exactly what I want. I'm pretty psyched.

Back home with good news about Constant State of Panic

We just got back from almost two weeks of vacation to visit family and friends in Michigan, Illinois, and Colorado. This is the view I had from Spy Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park, the destination of my 10-mile solo hike on a very early morning. At an elevation of 11,000 feet, the wind was howling.

While we were gone, I received two bits of good news about my newest full-length play, Constant State of Panic.

First, it was nominated for the Christopher Brian Wolk award given out by the Abingdon Theatre Company in New York. It's now one of nine finalists--the winner, to be announced in late September, will receive $1,000 and a staged reading.

Second, it looks like Constant State of Panic will have a workshop in October followed by a full production in January with a (smallish) theatre company in Washington, D.C. I'll provide more details once we've finalized everything, but I'm very excited to have a chance to work with these folks again. The script is a very good match with this particular company. And DC is the perfect city for the premiere of this political play about fear.

Though I've had a bunch of productions and publications of short plays, it's been a long time since I've had a full production of a full-length play. I'm actually embarrassed to say how long it's been (shhh. four years.). Part of that is because I was working on two novels during that time, thus it took a while to write this newest play. But the long dry spell chipped away at my confidence. I'm a little young to feel theatrically washed up, and I knew the market has been really, really tight. But still...

Now, who knows, maybe this will lead to a bunch of new open doors. Whether it does or not, I look forward to having a blast working on the play.

First Draft of Constant State of Panic

I finished a first draft of Constant State of Panic this morning. The second act now comes in around 27 pages handwritten, which I think will run about 40 pages typewritten (I’ll find out on Monday, at my Rhombus playwrights group meeting). I have a feeling that there’s a bit of expansion yet to go, and I can’t say that I really understand the ending completely. It could be that the whole thing feels too forced. I’m not sure. It did end up falling within the parameters I set up, at least some of them—four actors, unit set, mostly unit time and place. Maybe that’s too limiting. I’m not sure.

My goal was to complete the second act in May, and it feels awfully satisfying to have gotten there. Sure it’s (very) rough, and it could be that this last ten pages is complete crap and I throw it out. I just can’t know for sure yet, but I needed to get to this point, and plugging away for an hour or two every day did the trick. This is a script that I started four years ago and could never really get together. Now at least I've got something to pick apart and rewrite and attempt to figure out.

(Who knows, maybe I'll get a new version of my new novel done this year after all. What a concept.)

progress report--mini writing binge, back on the wagon

I fell off the wagon for my little writing binge last weekend. Noah was home sick on Friday and Tracy was out of town, so I just didn't have the time or energy to write anything. The good news is that I've done a good job making time for writing all this week. I've got at least a dozen pages written on a new version of Act II. It's coming slowly, but at least I'm making steady progress. I don't know that I'll finish the act by the end of the month, but I might not be that far off.

This play has come much slower than my others, but I've just had to accept that and try not to get too frustrated. In the past, I might write four pages an hour on a first draft, but now I'm lucky to get one or two pages in an hour. I hope that soon something will suddenly click and it'll all come pouring out. But I'll get it written either way.

The last two weeks have been pretty full of other stuff, but I think the rest of May will offer me more writing time. (If I can stay disciplined.)

writing binge: still making progress on Constant State of Panic

I've been doing a good job sticking to my own personal writing binge so far (I only started on May 1st, with a goal of a page a day). By yesterday's Rhombus meeting, I had 11 pages of the second act of Constant State of Panic. When I heard it read by our actors, I could see that I wasn't quite on the right track, but I was very glad to have something to bring to the group and to have made progress.

That said, I'm curious to see if I'll get in my page today. I'm doing some thinking and planning for how to attack the second act. So, I did write a full page of notes and questions, so if I want to cheat, I could just say that will do for today. Otherwise, I'll have to do it after the garden tonight (and an episode of Lost), while I'm half asleep. I still might.

new writing binge/plan

I've decided that I really, really, really want to have a first draft of Constant State of Panic sooner rather than later. The first act is written, but there's no second act. So this month, I'm going to try to write some of the second act, at least one page a day, every day. I started yesterday, came up with a page, and wrote another three today. I might not keep any of it, but it's a start. It helps that I need something to bring to my Rhombus playwrights group on Monday, and on the 19th, too. The weekends are the hardest for me, but I just need to write one page, and I just have to allow myself to write it and have it be total crap.

As an added bonus, I think this'll also build up some pent-up desire to work on my new novel. I have a pretty strong urge to work on it right now, but I don't have the time (or energy) to do both, so it'll have to wait until June. Sometimes there's something to be said for suppressed writing energy coming out all at once. We'll see.

In what is probably part of my standard cycle, I'm feeling that I need to start getting better at saying "no" to meetings and other things that take my time, and try to make sure I spend more time focused on writing every day (weekdays, at least). I might just force myself to get out of the house, to the library or cafe, for 2-3 hours a day. (I figure I spend at least 10 hours a week coaching Kira's soccer team right now--it might be smart to spend at least that much a week on actual writing time, too, huh?)

We'll see how it goes. I seem to come up with new plans and strategies all the time. Some really do work for a while. But then again, my life can require a certain amount of flexibility, fluidity, like anyone's, I suppose--so plans have to change. This one will only work for 6-7 weeks, until school is out. Then it'll be time to find a new one.

Six Views is on its feet

We (Rhombus) got the Six Views, Same Shape new play festival off and running last night, with Joe Byers' play, Noori and the Imperialists (a play about the end of the world). He had a terrific cast and a good turnout (attendance of 27, not counting the six of us writers--our target was 25, so that was good news). The audience was pretty warm and gave lots of good response, which is really what the whole thing is for.

Tonight we had Carl Danielson's play, Everloving God. I baked brownies and helped with front of the house and lights. Despite a nice mention in the Globe this morning and a mass e-mailing yesterday afternoon, turnout was very light. We had six people attend, which was too bad, because it's really hard to judge laughs with less than a dozen, really less than 20. Still, Carl got a good reading from the actors, and I'd think it'd be helpful in figuring out where to rewrite the script.

Tomorrow, we've got the roundtable on methods and models of new play development. I'm moderating and have been trying to get ready. I've got a full page of notes and questions ready to go. The time will go by fast, I think.

Then it's on to my workshop/reading/open rehearsal of Constant State of Panic. I was still making changes to the script this morning. I think I've got a decent plan worked out for what I want to workshop, though my list is long and time will be short. I'm curious to see what value this way of working (workshopping in front of an audience) will bring. Part of it will depend on how engaged the audience is in taking an inside look at the process or working on this play. I doubt this would be a way to work very often, but I can see it adding an interesting spark. We'll see. (it's at 2pm tomorrow--if you're in Boston, come by).

Vanishing Point

I know I appear to have disappeared as of late, but I still exist. Really. But rather than writing or reading blogs, I've been trying to get the first act of my new play, Constant State of Panic, ready for this Saturday's workshop/open rehearsal in Rhombus's Six Views/Same Shape new play festival (Saturday, 2pm, Boston Playwrights Theatre, 949 Commonwealth Ave, Boston. Free.).

(The Festival runs April 24-27, and if you're in Boston, you should definitely check it out--we've got reading and workshops of six new plays, plus a roundtable discussion on models/methods of new play development, featuring Gary Garrison of the Dramatists Guild, Ilana Brownstein (literary manager of the Huntington Theatre Company), and Kate Snodgrass (artistic director of Boston Playwrights Theatre and who helps run the BU graduate playwriting program), plus artistic directors Joe Antoun and Jacqui Parker.)

The good news is that I did manage to get the act done in time before we left for Florida (which is where I'm writing this) and before a quick read-through with my cast (who are terrific). We get back from Florida just in time for Six Views to start.

I also needed to type up the new beginning to my new novel for my fiction group, which meets next week (so I had to send them the stuff before we left on vacation). I'd thought it was all typed and edited, but I remembered falsely--it was all handwritten scribbles. (Turns out there were 28 typewritten pages when I was done.)

All that, plus a whole bunch of family stuff, getting ready for vacation, coaching Kira's soccer team, and trying to prepare for teaching White People Challenging Racism at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education (starting next Wednesday--I've barely even had time to think about it). I'm mostly just been trying not to panic.

So far, so good. Now I just need to clarify exactly what we're going to do in this whole "open rehearsal" on Saturday. I think I have an idea, but I'll be a little more relaxed with a plan on paper.