Theory of Compound Procrastination

There are, as we all know, a nearly infinite number of chores to complete at any given moment. (C=number of chores). Unfortunately, one's Motivation for completing these chores (M) decreases inversely to C.

M= 1/(C*I)

Complicating the ability to complete chores is the Intertia of Procrastination (I). I rises as the usefulness (U) of the task undertaken to avoid actual work decreases. For example, playing GameCube has a U of 0.1, which in an undamped state will lead to a I value of nearly 9.7. (Reading blogs has a U of 0.3) The less useful the task currently underway, the harder it is to emerge from a state of non-action and do work (or writing).

In seeking to overcome procrastination paralysis (a condition commonly observed among writers), one tactic is to employ Compound Procrastination. In this case, the writer begins several important projects simultaneously. When Motivation begins to lag on one project, the writer can begin to work on a different project. This allows the writer to procrastinate, while at the same time actually accomplishing something useful.

One other way to improve one's M score is to accumulate procrastination tasks in one central location. For example, in the case of one subject (P. Gabridge), he would dutifully clear all papers and publications from his desk every day and empty them into a large milk crate, intending to sort, file, and respond to these items at a later date. As this crate begins to fill, the Procrastinational Gravity of the pile rises. This allows the subject to complete tasks which might normally be put off (blogging, folding laundry, cleaning the cat litter box). The law of Conservation of Procrastination allows for these chores to be finished, while maintaining a steady nagging feeling that the participant isn't really doing what he's supposed to.

(Excerpted from p.56 of Your Life by the Numbers (Why Dissertations Take Forever to Finish and Other Answers to Everyday Questions) by Professor P.M. Gabridge


(Now what am I going to do to keep from cleaning out this box?)